Finding Our Harbour
I wrote the following reflection on August 10th. I waited to post as I wanted to finish up the Faith in the Middle series and then took a break for the birth of Baby Theodore and first few weeks of recovery. I am ready to get back to writing and sharing what I’ve been learning lately.
Tonight is our last night in the place we’ve called home for 6 years and 29 days. We brought both our girls home from the hospital to this place. We’ve celebrated birthdays and Christmas’s and marked many milestones. Bob sold a business and changed jobs several times. He completes his MBA this week, most of which he has done long-distance from this home. I experienced my first porphyria-like episode here and have walked through much counselling and growth and healing, as well as dealt with anxiety and sleepless nights. I started writing in this house. And I came up with the name for Seas of Pure Grace while sitting on the carpet, playing with my children.
Our marriage is deeper.
My confidence in self has matured.
My faith is stronger.
I feel like I finally grew up and grew into myself in this house.
And tonight is our last night. Tomorrow, the movers will come with a big truck and move our life from this house to one just four minutes down the road.
To Harbour Drive.
To our harbour house.
Harbour: a place of refuge. From the late Old English “herebeorg”
Our family is in a season of big transitions.
It starts with a new baby boy joining the family.
And leads to another move coming in the not so distant future.
Bob recently took a new job with a company in the USA. He works remotely part time from home and part time from Bellingham. And once he helps his new company find the right business to buy, we will be moving to wherever that business is. Anywhere in the lower 48. Timeline: undetermined.
There is something nerve-wracking about knowing a big change is coming, but not knowing anything about what that change may entail. We have to live fully present here, involved and connected and invested, while simultaneously talking through possible future scenarios.
Most days, when I think about it, I feel completely untethered. I can see the storm approaching and I don’t know if my boat will withstand the waves or be sunk.
We need a harbour.
As we walk through this season of uncertainty; as I support my husband through the decision making process, as I walk alongside my children preparing them for their worlds to be turned upside down; as I process my own fears and doubts and grief… we need a harbour.
Now, this house is just a house. A house that we will care for and love and make cozy and call home. But our true harbour is found in the one who is never-changing, our God who is the same yesterday, today, and forever, our Saviour who walks on water and calms stormy seas, our Holy Spirit who comforts us with unexplainable peace. Yes, He is our harbour, our place of refuge.
So this is my prayer: that every time I write the address, or see the street sign, or give someone directions, I will be reminded that I have a harbour to moor our family ship; one who will help prepare us for the journey that lies ahead. That this “harbour house” will serve as a signpost on days when my ship feels lost at sea.
House update: We moved and were unpacked within the first week. A few small projects that needed doing have been finished. I have been learning a lot being in our Harbour House. I look forward to sharing those thoughts with you over the next few months, keeping with the Lessons Learned Lately theme of this next season here on Seas of Pure Grace.
Family update: Since the move, Bob has had two work trips, we’ve had family stay, Elizabeth started Grade 1, Eleanor started preschool, and Theodore was born September 12. We brought him home to this Harbour House three and a half weeks ago and have spent that time healing (me), and loving our Teddy cuddles (all of us!). Still no solid update on where/when we may move again. Prayers are appreciated as we seek God’s direction.
