Room-with-a-View
Last Sunday I arrived "home" to the west coast after an intense semester in marine navigation training. My sister, Anne, had prepared a room for me to crash. In the 10 days before I touched down at YVR, she encouraged my heart with sneak-peek photos. These were moments of hope as my body and brain pushed to perform for relentless tests, orals, and finals.
Attention went into every detail, from candles and Christmas lights to cozy blankets and the perfect reading chair. She created another kind of space, speaking the gracious words that I could take all the time I needed to rest, with no expectation to enter the busy life of the household until ready. It took a few days of sleeping to regain equilibrium after the cross-continent flights and four-hour time change, not to mention living at max capacity for the past four months.
It is from this room-with-a-view that I am writing now, with the reading chair swiveled to look out the big windows to the lake on the right and the mountains on the left. Relaxing is not something I do easily. Rather, I'm the one who always wants to be doing, being productive instead of "just sitting around wasting time." But as I get older, the futility of the constant striving of life wearies me. And no time more so then when smack-dab-in-the-middle of a busy season with my tired head on my hands wondering, "What's it all for anyway?"
In my teens and twenties I have responded by stepping away from the busyness in ways that isolated and led to more damage. Oh friend, my life has been messy with eating disorders and abuse. By God's grace, these stories are now stamped with restoration as God revealed and healed from the inside out. What I did not realize is a lingering pressure to redeem the time, hurrying to get "where I should have been all along."
Finally this fall, what I have known mentally clicked deep inside: I am going to heaven to be with God. This is the "what-for-anyway." This is the destination "all along." Like a deep sigh of relief, I realize I can forgive myself for the wasted years, and carry on with peace. God is redeeming the time, not me.
And best of all, I have sneak peeks of a heavenly home. There is a room, a place, being prepared for me. It makes all longings for an earthly home pale in comparison. That's good news for a gal who loves to scan the real-estate listings on my favorite islands, longing to settle in my own nest. But it's not just the place. It's the Person who has been preparing, with love and anticipation, each detail for my arrival. Jesus' welcome home will make all earthly arrivals pale in comparison.
This is more than I could ever ask for or afford. And yet it is mine.
When I arrived at Anne's last week, she had saved some surprises. The real thing was even better than the sneak peek, with the highlight being a forest-scene wall decal with "Be still and know that I am God."
Makes me think that a room in heaven is similarly going to be so much better than I can imagine. And in the meantime, living with this room-in-view gives the hope and peace to carry through this life.
