Wait
Wait.
Let’s be honest. We do not like being told to wait. And yet we spend a lot of our time waiting. Waiting in lines. Waiting in the cue on the phone to talk to customer service. Waiting for food to arrive. Waiting for those cookies to finish baking. Waiting for the light to turn green. Waiting for the results of medical tests or exam marks. Waiting to see if you got that job. Waiting to feel a baby’s first kicks. Waiting for the next holiday. Waiting for that dream to become a reality.
And as a mom of little children, let me tell you this: children definitely don’t like waiting either. Multiple times a day I hear myself saying “Just wait a moment.” I give them this instruction when I need to wrap up what I’m doing before turning my attention to them, or when they need to wait for that muffin to cool so they don’t burn their mouth, or when I want them to wait for me before crossing our quiet neighbour hood street, or when I see them about to grab something from the other, or when they are requesting snacks when dinner will be ready in 5 minutes. Recently, in fact, Elizabeth has started counting when I say “wait a moment”. “One moment, two moments, three moments, four moments...”
Merriam Webster defines “wait” as such:
“: to stay in a place until an expected event happens, until someone arrives, until it is your turn to do something, etc. : to not do something until something else happens. : to remain in a state in which you expect or hope that something will happen soon”
So why do we not like waiting? Why do we jump at the chance to have faster networks and fast food and instant results and Amazon prime and On Demand TV? It is at the core of our human sin nature. To want now, to satisfy the longing now, to fulfill that selfish desire now. It’s about me and what I want and when I want it. It allows us to feel like we are in control.
But what if there was a different way? What if, instead of getting frustrated at waiting, there was an opportunity for learning and growth?
I read a devotional last week as part of my She Reads Truth study on the minor prophets. In the particular passage I was reading there was a lot of waiting. The author of this devotional, Lore Ferguson Wilbert says the following:
“The word “wait” is an action verb. Something is happening, something is in motion - even when the word itself implies stasis. To wait on someone means to serve them by being actively present, even without words. In Habakkuk 1, waiting abounds. The people of God are waiting for an answer, and God is waiting until the the time is right. Neither wait is wrong, still, or without action. Habakkuk says the law is “paralyzed and justice never goes forth” (1:4) To God’s people, it feels as though they are stuck in the perpetual motion of law-keeping, not seeing any hope for the future God has promised them. They stand, waiting, and begging, imploring the God of the universe to hear and answer and save. God is also waiting, and His waiting is perfect within His predetermined time. He is not being pushed to any limit, and He is not worried about being too early or too late. He is present, even though He may appear silent. And His waiting is good, even through it may feel punitive to His people.... We are all waiting for something and it can be very tempting to believe we are the only ones waiting. We can feel paralyzed in the waiting, left feeling that God is either ignorant to our pleas or intentionally avoiding an answer for us. But wait is a verb, and it is not one without action. God is at work in your waiting, and you are at work in it too.”
There is action even in the waiting. Pause, read it again, and let your mind be blown like mine was. So if this is truly the case, if this is the opportunity to “wait well” as opposed to frustration, what does it look like to take action even in the waiting? And also, how can I better understand how God is at work in the waiting?
The first thing that stands out is the importance of being present. This can begin as simply taking a deep breath and taking stock of your surroundings. One of the first things I learned in counselling classes (and in fact have used in my own counselling sessions) is the 5 senses countdown. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can taste, 1 thing you can smell. Another way to do this it to do a body scan. What do my feet feel. How does my stomach feel? What can I touch? Is it cold? Hard? Soft? Warm? Fuzzy? What pinches? Where is there tension in my body? What can I relax? This works to calm the nervous system and allow you to be fully present in your body. For example, I’ll be driving along and suddenly realize that I’ve been clenching my jaw for 5 minutes as I rush to get to the next thing and through the “waiting” that comes with driving. I slow my breath, release the tension in my teeth and focus my thoughts off myself and into my surroundings.
Another aspect of this is being present to your emotions. My counsellor does this annoyingly enlightening thing when she asks me gently “and what is that trying to tell you?” Emotions are not bad. Worry, sadness, apprehension, anxiety, even irritation, are not bad if we take the time to figure out what they are trying to tell us. We can learn a lot about ourselves. Earlier this year when the pandemic hit, I had more anxiety than normal. I was living in a paralyzed state of nervous energy, stuck waiting for the pandemic to end and all to go back to normal. When I took the time to ask myself “what is my anxiety telling me?” I became aware of just how desperately I liked to be in control and be able to prepare for the future. When faced with the unknown of the future, I couldn’t prepare, so I couldn’t control, hence the anxiety. I then could make an active decision on how to proceed through the time of waiting. Does it mean the anxiety went away fully? No. But I was able to learn from it and know what I really needed in that moment.
So I’ve thought about present to self, physically and emotionally, and now I start to work outwards to being present to those around me. This is the area I think I need to work on the most. When I think of the times I am impatient in the waiting, those that are most negatively affected are those around me. My girls that are looking for some attention from momma, the person at the end of that service call who is just trying to do their job well, the other vehicle who is trying to make it through the intersection safely. Being present to those around me literally takes my eyes and mind off myself and onto others. It helps to take the posture of the heart from selfish to generous. I think about what Wilbert wrote in the devotional when she said “to wait on somebody is to serve them by being actively present, even without words.” What if every time I was waiting I took the time to think how I could serve those around me?
Perhaps what is most life changing however is to think about what God is trying to teach us in the waiting. When I had the anxiety in March, it was helpful to know that the anxiety was being cause by a desire to control. But if the observations stopped there, what good would that do except to admit I was not in control. But that did not lessen the anxiety. What lessened the anxiety was to say “I desire control. I am not in control. But I know the God who is in control and my future and hope is in him.” If I’ve learned any lesson during this global pandemic it’s that God and not Anne Wang is in control. Can I get an Amen?
I am struck with the line in Wilbert’s devotional: “His waiting is good.” Can I be honest? That’s hard to believe sometimes. Especially when the waiting seems unbearable and there seems to be no hope on the horizon. When your gut tells you the outcome will be devastating. Good? Yes. Because the truth is that God is good. And He sees the WHOLE picture. He sees not just my story, but the story of the universe and the people he loves unfolding. And He is outside of time. He knows the end of the story. He knows what will come at the end of all the waiting. And friends, it’s a good ending.
I will leave you with the lyrics from one of my favourite Steven Curtis Chapman songs. (Cause why try to find new words when he already puts it so well!)
But before I do I want to say this; I don’t know what you are waiting for right now. Perhaps it is something small like some food delivery. Perhaps it is something big like a sacred dream you are holding in your heart, hoping, waiting for it to come to fruition. Whatever it is, let’s wait well. Let’s be present to ourselves and to others and to what God is trying to teach us.
Lay your head down tonight / Take a rest from the fight / Don't try to figure it out / Just listen to what i'm whispering to your heart / 'Cause I know this is not / Anything like you thought / The story of your life was gonna be / And it feels like the end has started closing in on you / But it's just not true / There's so much of the story that's still yet to unfold
God's plan from the start / For this world and your heart / Has been to show His glory and His grace / Forever revealing the depth and the beauty of / His unfailing love / And the story has only begun
And this is going to be a glorious unfolding / Just you wait and see and you will be amazed / You've just got to believe the story is so far from over / So hold on to every promise God has made to us / And watch this glorious unfolding
“Glorious Unfolding” by Steven Curtis Chapman