A Lesson in Perspective
The following was written mid-October 2022, 2 months into living in our Harbour House. I’m happy to report that the spiders have hibernated for the winter. We wait with anticipation to see what spring will bring.
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Maybe it’s the season. Perhaps it is the type of foliage we have around our house. But these days, we have a LOT of spiders in our yard. And big ones too. With big, intricate webs stretching between branches and leaves.
Most of the time, I am not a big fan. And if I see one in the house? It’s either getting squished or vacuumed. (Side note: my dad used to cup them in his hand and carrying them outside…. Big nope for me). But for some reason, the spiders in our yard here at the Harbour House haven’t bothered me.
My girls, Ellie and Nora, have been fascinated by these spiders. And there is one thing our family really dislikes: mosquitoes. And so, as we were examining the webs, I told them that spiders eat insects that fly into their web, including mosquitoes. Well, the spiders have been declared friends of the family, with various names beginning with “s” being assigned.
A few weeks ago, a big spider and it’s expansive web appeared outside our living room window, stretching from roof eave to deck railing. She was given the name Susan. We’ve watched her with fascination as she’s caught bugs and spun her thread around them. We’ve watched her rebuild her web, the silk coming out the end of her fat abdomen. Yesterday, Eleanor was a little itchy and thought perhaps she had gotten a mosquito bite. Well, she ran off to the window to politely ask Susan to keep catching those mosquitos so they wouldn’t bite her. Complete with a thank you. And I’m half expecting to wake up one morning to see the words ‘you’re welcome’ spelt out through Susan’s web.
I’ve sat and stared at that spider and it’s web for long stretches as I’ve nursed baby Teddy. And I was thinking about how something that could be an object to fear has instead brought about wonder. All because of a decision to look at how it can help us. A change in perspective.
And I started to think about the other things that I fear. Change. Rejection. Pain. Failure. Brokenness. Change. (Whoops. Did I already say that one?) What if I took the thing I was afraid of in any given moment and asked myself how this thing could help me and what I could learn from it? I remember talking through my anxiety with my counsellor, and her asking me what the anxiety was trying to tell me.
Let’s take change for example. I’m afraid of the changes coming in the year ahead: having to move to a new country, a new city, make new friends, learn whole new systems, being away from family and friends. Instead of letting the fear cripple me, I need to ask myself what I can learn, how it can help.
These changes provide an opportunity to really lean into God’s faithfulness and see how He can go before us. It is a chance for reflection, to be truly appreciative of the years we have had here in this community, to be thankful that we have such close bonds with our families that it will be painful to be away from them. What a gift. These changes will stretch and grow my resilience, and has the potential to bond our little family even closer together.
Does this change in perspective completely eliminate my fear? Not entirely. Just like I’m still not going to be picking up Susan with my hand anytime soon. But I begin the journey of approaching what fears me with a little bit of wonder.
PS. I would not do well in Australia, with all the snakes and spiders.
PPS. I’ve also told Bob that Florida is a no-go for me. (Gators. And heat. And snakes.) Just watch… that will be where he finds a business…