True Love
Here’s the scene:
I’m sitting in the rocking chair in the baby’s room nursing Teddy before bed. It is past the girl’s bedtime, but I can still hear the chatter and giggles of sisters in the dark room across the hall. I don’t mind. Some of my most treasured memories from growing up are of sharing a room with my sister. As I read my book on my phone, their conversation is like a soundtrack playing in the background. When all of a sudden, something catches my ear. I have no context. Continuing to listen, I still am unable to figure out the context. But it strikes me as more profound than I think my six year old realizes.
“True love’s first fight.”
Pause.
Not “true love’s first kiss.”
Fight. True loves first fight.
I mean, she’s got a point. Her dad and I sure had many fights before we ever shared a kiss. Our disagreements and conflict served to deepen our communication and appreciation for one another in the early months of our relationship. I think one of the reasons I fell in love with him is that he could drive me absolutely crazy but have me laughing by the end. And there is something to be said about making up…
I also know this to be true: love goes far beyond feeling. There are days and seasons where you have to fight for that love. Love takes saying “I do” every day. For Bob and I, that most recent season was after Teddy was born. A newborn changes all sorts of dynamics. Also, Bob has had to do a lot more travelling for his current job than we were anticipating. We’ve had to adjust, have hard conversations, and figure out what loving each other and fighting FOR love looks like in our current normal.
Now, I want to be careful to not over spiritualize this idea, but various sources of input (scripture, podcasts, conversations) have led me to thinking a lot about spiritual warfare. About how “our struggle is not against flesh and blood but… against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.” (Eph 6:12) And how the Holy Spirit fights for us. And how Christ, in His ultimate love for us, Himself the truest definition and embodiment of love, took the fight to the cross and conquered death.
True Love won the fight.
We can find rest and solace in that truth. But more than that, this truth has the power to change how we love each other. “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
Note to self before I return to my book: follow up with Elizabeth in the morning and ask her for more context…