Doing the Dishes
Doing the dishes is the most mundane tasks that never ends. Well, perhaps it is a tie with the laundry. It never ceases to amaze me that just as I have finished cleaning the kitchen there are already empty cups and snack dishes ready for the next dishwasher load, not to mention crumbs on the counter. And as soon as the dishwasher cycle finishes, there are dishes to put away. Is it just in my house, or do the dishes barely make it to the “dirty area” near the sink let alone into the dishwasher immediately below in your house too?
In Casa Wang we have two different styles. Bob would prefer I keep it constantly tidy. (I do have to give him credit for emptying the dishwasher most days for me, as he is doing right as I type. Thanks babe!) I, knowing this is completely unrealistic unless I want to spend the entire day in the kitchen, tend towards waiting for the pile to grow and then do it all at once in one big scrub down. We have compromised a lot over the nearly 10 years of marriage, with Bob relaxing his OCD, and me trying my best to stay on top of it throughout the day.
It wasn’t always this way. Ready for a trip down memory lane? Our very first home together was a bachelor suite in a Christian residence hall on the UBC Campus. The tiny kitchen with barely any counter space had no dishwasher. We were both still students, and I was not only figuring out how to feed my husband healthy meals but also learning how to “keep house.” My procrastination was at its peak force, and I am ashamed to admit, the dishes became the source of a lot of tension in our marriage. I wouldn’t have room to make dinner unless the dishes were done. But I hated doing the dishes. And so I would procrastinate making dinner... You get the picture.
You know what made doing the dishes the worst? Trying to scrub off the dirty food that was dried on. Its the cycle as old as time. The more you put off doing the dishes, the harder it becomes to wash them. The more time you spend scouring the plates and that casserole dish, the more you loath washing the dishes.
So why am I talking about washing the dishes? Well, it struck me a few weeks ago that dealing with hurt and sin and seeking forgiveness is a lot like washing the dishes. The more you put if off, the harder it becomes to deal with. I came to this realization while doing my homework for Freedom Session.
Side bar: Freedom Session is a 20 week program created by a pastor by the name of Ken Dyck (he was Pastor of Discipleship for a while at our church, Village Church). It is a healing-discipleship journey that helps individuals look at their emotions and hurts and behavioural patterns that are keeping them from thriving, and shakes the foundations, allowing God to work and rewrite the ending to their story. It is an incredible program that you can check out here or you can contact me if you have more questions. Since September I have been facilitating a group as well as going through the program myself.
The week’s focus had been on forgiveness, reconciling and making peace with yourself and with God. Instead of explaining away guilt, or trying to bury it, we were taught about the importance of confession, followed by receiving forgiveness. Our homework exercise included a lot of prayer and confession and ultimately receiving forgiveness. We were given a check on which we could write all the wrongs we had done. We were to date it, write our name in the “pay to the order of” line, and the signature line said “The Lord Jesus.”
“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12
”If we confess our sings, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
We were then instructed to destroy the cheque. So when it came to that moment, I took it to my little kitchen, lit a candle and put it in my sink and burned the cheque. It was a powerful moment, one that I think will stick with me for a long time. And the more I thought about it, I thought how fitting it was that I had burned it in the sink in my kitchen. I grabbed my iPad, and wrote the following:
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I wash up the dishes after preparing a meal for my family.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I pray for loved ones or worries on my heart.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I see scripture that I’ve written out, reminding me of truth found in the Word of God.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I feel the weariness of the repetition of home life.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I process hurt and anger, frustration and sorrow.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I feel convicted of my sin.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I took a lit candle and burned a cheque, upon which I had written all my sin, upon which it says Jesus paid the debt in full.
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that I hear the words of a song... “I will trust your unfailing love... I will give praise, through all my days, you have been good to me.”
It is here, standing at my kitchen sink, that he hears me, he meets me, he rescues me, he forgives me, and he loves me.
Seeking forgiveness, while not a mundane task, needs to be a discipline, an exercise, that we participate in daily, much like doing the dishes. The longer we let hurt and sin fester and grow unattended, the harder it becomes to deal with it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not hard for God. He can deal with anything we throw at him. But it does get harder for us. We see the pile of all our wrongs grow and grow and it becomes intimidating. The guilt and shame is like a stench that we don’t want to face. However, unlike the loathing of doing the dishes that grows from what seems like hours trying to degrease a pan, when we make it a habit of humbling ourselves and seeking reconciliation with God through forgiveness, this habit becomes an intimate encounter between Creator and created.
So the next time you are at your sink tackling the dishes, be reminded that He is waiting for you there. He will hear you, meet you, rescue you, forgive you, and love you.
Oh, and when Bob and I moved from that 300 sq foot apartment into our next home, a dishwasher was a non-negotiable.