What My Kitchen Taught Me
Over the weekend, I spent a considerable amount of time reattaching cabinet doors in our kitchen and reorganizing cupboards. This process required me to be in close proximity with every nook and cranny of my kitchen. I know every flaw and weakness and am acutely aware of its imperfections.
See, two month ago Bob and I embarked on a journey of repainting our kitchen. To say we are amateurs is a grand understatement. But we started by taking off the cupboard doors and emptying the shelves. We picked out a paint colour and bought a tray and some brushes. Many days it felt like 5 steps backwards and only 1 forward. We learned the difference in stripping paint chemically versus with a sander. We learned the importance of priming. We spent hours in the evening after the girls were in bed in our garage, kneeling on the cold concrete to try to make some progress. And then came the waiting. Once everything was painted I wanted to give it amply time to really set. Finally the reassembly process began. You’d think it would be as simple as tightening some screws. Nope. Adjust this door here, adjust that door there, swap those drawers out, find the one spot that size door fits, make sure you have the right size screws for the door knobs...
My hands have gone over every surface in my kitchen conservatively 7 times in the last 2 months. I know it intimately. And since Bob and I are amateurs, the job was not perfect. There are places where the paint bled through the tape and I did my best to scrub it off the wall. There are other places where drips were missed and have since hardened. There are also places where the touch up shade is slightly different from the paint around it.
If I spend my time looking closely at the imperfections, I can find myself travelling down a well-worn path of discontentment and dissatisfaction, leading to an unsettledness. This path, if one is not diverted, can easily lead to the destinations of jealousy and despair.
However, when I choose to step back and admire the project as a whole, remembering the care and energy we poured into it, my heart is thankful and at peace. It doesn’t change the fact that it is imperfect. But I see the bigger picture. Bob and I did this, together, as a team. We overcame obstacles and frustration and saw the project to completion. There is a satisfaction in a job done to the best of our ability.
It is a good reminder to me as I look inward to my own heart and life. If you have been following along here, you’ll remember a post titled “Practicing, Not Perfection” (I’ve linked it here). I am a recovering perfectionist, learning the art of celebrating the journey. But it is still easy for me to spend too many minutes of my day acutely aware of my flaws. The flaws of my body, the limitations of my comprehension, the many areas of weakness, the sins of my heart. And as predictable as the waves crashing onto the seashore is the wave of discontentment that then settles over my heart and mind.
It is important to know our weak spots so that we know on which areas to work on to grow and improve and strengthen. However, it is even more important that we live with the bigger picture in mind.
The bigger picture is this:
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23)
“For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
“God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
“Therefore, since we have been declared righteous by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 5:1)
“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1)
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)
In light of this truth, my heart is filled with thanksgiving. My Saviour covers all my flaws. He knows me more intimately than any other, and still His love covers it all. I can step back and look at my life. I see how far I’ve come, by the grace of God; the progress I’ve made, the things I have endured and the obstacles I have overcome by His strength and in His mercy. And because of that, I can join Paul is saying that the peace of Christ rules my heart and I am thankful. (Colossians 2:15 paraphrase)
And so, as I write this while sitting in my newly painted green kitchen with brass accents, this is my prayer for myself, and for you:
“So then, just as you have received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, being rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, just as you were taught, and OVERFLOWING WITH GRATITUDE.” (Colossians 2:6-7)
Post Script: Another beautiful post on perfectionism and the gospel is one my sister wrote in Fall 2020. You can find it here.