Another Day
Another day done.
Another check mark
Another exhale.
For the most part, I thrive on repetition. I know what to expect. I know what is required of me. I know what I need to do to keep the balance and the peace. I resonate with phrases like “just take another step,” or “slow and steady wins the race.” In fact, during quarantine I have established some great repetitive habits. Exercise. Chinese lesson. Bible Study. Weekly meal plan and grocery order. Writing. And repeat. I feel grounded, steady.
Another day done.
Another check mark.
Another exhale.
But I am also weary. This mothering journey is the second longest adventure I’ve embarked on (after being a wife). Especially these young years, sometimes the only way to make it through the day is to look 1 minute ahead, maybe 10. I know the collective “they” always say “It will go by so fast. Enjoy every moment.” But can I be honest? There are many moments I find myself wanting it to go faster. For the girls to be more independent, able to help more around the house, more emotionally balanced. I can hear you laughing and screaming at the screen, “Anne, just wait till they are teenagers!” I know. I know. And I know that it isn’t fair to expect these precious little hearts to have life figured out. But when day after day is the same, I come to the end of the day frustrated, with them, but mostly with myself.
Another day done.
Another check mark.
Another exhale.
Now with the routine of the fall in full swing and Elizabeth in preschool, there is more structure to each day. There are also more variables and more things to keep track of (and more things to forget...). I’ve already come to miss the slowness that my full days with Elizabeth had, with no structure, where on good days there was just play and adventure and being. Whenever I have an increase in items on my weekly to-do list, the more important it becomes for me to keep grounded in routine and reset each day. Otherwise I get easily overwhelmed, and one off day can pull down the whole week. Procrastination sets in strong. (See my post “Grey days”). So each day I try to check off all I can. And then...
Another day done.
Another check mark.
Another exhale.
When I think about what truly grounds me and carries me through the weary and repetitive and the seemingly endless journey, my heart turns to scripture and the truth I find there. Matthew 11:28-30 says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you fill find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Isaiah 26:30 says “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.”
So just as I exhale at the end of the day, letting go of all that was difficult during the day, so I also need to inhale each new morning this truth: I have been given the gift of this day and all that it holds.
Another day being held by him.
Another day in his grace.
Another opportunity to trust him.
Photo is of Eleanor, 18 months, expressing how I feel at the end of most days, just a lot cuter.
